~Prenuptials~

Wedding season is in full swing and I'm not Debbie Downer but I have some advice to share. Marriage should be entered into with one’s eyes wide open in case the union dissolves because there’s an epidemic of divorce which is now at roughly 50% and the vaccine is a prenuptial. Instead of having one's head up in the clouds, one must be very practical and ask the question, “What if this union doesn’t work?”

There are many reasons a prenup is ideal. For example, opposites attract. Savers often marry spenders. we like our opposite till it’s our money that is being spent. Then we realize that this union isn’t working out. I also think it’s crazy for a person to have worked hard all his or her life and lose half of everything they’ve ever worked for to a person who didn’t help them achieve everything just because they chose to marry that person.

For people who’ve been married before when blending families, there’s built in antagonism. Kids from previous relationships often cause trouble because they see that they will be sharing their parent’s time, affection and inheritance with other people. A prenup can help ease their fears that their parent will not be taken to the cleaners in the event of a divorce.

One good way to brooch subject is to say, “My parents or grandparents may leave me some money, and they want me to have a prenup, or my lawyers won't let me get married without one because my assets are too tangled up and to protect you from having to pay for future claims against me, it is best that we have a prenup.” An approach like this will help to deflect the anger of your potential spouse because prenups are not a romantic topic to discuss.

Prenup Dos and Don’ts

1. A lawyer is definitely needed to draft a prenuptial agreement which will be bullet proof and hold up in court if it is challenged. A prenup on the back of a napkin is not the best.

2. Parties must honestly reveal their worth and assets, which often times people don’t want to do.

3. Time is a factor. It is unwise to begin discussing your desire for a prenup when the hall for the wedding ceremony has been paid for and invitations are out, because the pressure is on to have the wedding on a certain date and anything that rocks that boat will be unwelcome by most people.

4. Don’t sign a prenup you don’t agree with. Some people say I would’ve signed a laundry list if he or she stuck it in front of me because I desperately wanted to get married. Or some say, I didn’t have a choice. In reality, you do have a choice, which is that you don’t have to get married to that person.

5. Prenups can’t be overreaching or unconscionable, such as people who can’t speak a language signing a document in a language they can’t read.

I'm a romantic at heart and I’m not an advocate of divorce, but with a 50% divorce rate, a prenup can be one’s saving grace and as we all know it’s better safe than sorry.

A word is enough for the wise...