Assuming you have been to counseling and tried everything but you can’t continue to live with your spouse, then divorce is may be the solution. Divorce causes physical, mental and financial fallout. Many years of marriage conjure feelings of failure, anger, hurt but don’t go for the jugular to destroy your soon to be ex-spouse. Focus on what your vision of separation is. It may be peace, solitude, financial independence or anything else. That is the vision that will keep you going as you work through your separation and divorce.
Work out your frustrations by talking to friends, writing in a journal, eating healthy and exercising. According to Attorney Neil Hursh, the best thing you can do is to leave the past in the past. You can't go back and undo the things you did, so this advice is best. Attorney karl kuenhold advises that one should remember that you once loved the person, so there's something or many things good about them though you may not be able to see that right now.
Also, we all know breaking up is not easy and some situations may get out of control, so do it a public place where violence is less of an option or even if there is, it will be minimal. Be apathetic and say something nice like, "You are a wonderful person but this isn’t working out."
Things go downhill when lawyers get involved so try to work things out together without a third party. If that doesn’t work, try an arbitrator and if that doesn’t work, the last resort would be attorneys. I would say though you might be tempted to get an attorney that's a shark to "take your spouse to the cleaners and destroy them." However, I would advise that you reconsider this stance if you have children together.
Remember that though in different degrees, divorce ultimately traumatizes all parties involved, so do everyone a favor by doing the best you can to be kind in words and deeds during and after the process.
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