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Teenagers having sex their parents don’t know about is almost like a rite of passage. The normal scenario goes something like this. Parents awkwardly tell teenager about the birds and the bees. Then they ask if the teenager has been doing it. The teenager, usually lying through his/her teeth, says no. The parents then tells the teenager not to. The teenager says, OK. The parents then say, "Great!" Case closed.
However, that's not how things are anymore. My, oh my, how times have changed. It really is a different world. Long gone are the days of no sex till after marriage. Or in more recent times, the time of the movie, Grease, where teenagers had sex in cars. Now it’s the days of the movie, Mean Girls, with teenage sex scenes where the mother/Amy Poehler character is asking if they need anything as the two teenagers go at it.
Teenagers having sex in the home is the latest issue to spark off debate in cyber world triggered by blogger, Heather Blackmore. The internet has been set ablaze with this topic and some people including a “responsible” mother of an 18 year old boy said she’d prefer her son to have sex at home because the environment is safe and clean, and condoms are readily available. Instead of him having sex at a motel, a park, or in a car.
Some say teenagers will do it anyway, so they might as well do it where you can see them, so if something goes wrong, they have people to turn to. Their logic is senseless to me, but to each his own. Many would say, only mothers of boys would allow this, but that's not true. Another mother of a 17 year old girl said she allows her daughter to have sex in her home by allowing her boyfriend to stay overnight once a week because of the relationship her daughter and her boyfriend share. Absurd as it sounds, this isn't new to me. Many years ago, a friend of mind named Patrice who had gotten pregnant as a teenager while in high school had a child out of wedlock. About a year later, she met another guy and had the guy move into the house she lived in with her single mother. Although this was incredible to me, I know it is done. However, I believe this is prevalent in single mother led homes because most normal men can't embrace the thought of their young daughter having sex at all, let alone under their own roof.
A man complained that the decency and sanctity of what you call home is threatened when teenagers are given such privileges. Oddly enough, to some parents, hidden sex = less safe sex and sex with different partners. How they came to that conclusion is mind boggling to me. However, teenage girls complain that if they don’t have the, “My parents will kill me” excuse when boys ask them to have sex, that leaves them vulnerable and raises the chance that they’ll give in to boys' requests.
All this shows is that sexual immorality is on the rise. When sex is openly promoted by parents, this takes the stigma off premarital sex, which is one of the causes of the moral decay in this country. One psychologist said as long as the teenagers are of legal consent age everything is fine. To me, that’s a dumb assertion because a teenager who is emotionally and socially immature and whose brain has been scientifically proven to still be growing till the age 26, who is learning the rules of engagement in the world, legal age or not, isn’t good at making decisions, especially a decision which can lead to the creation of another life and dramatically alter his or her life permanently. Most of them can't drive correctly and cause so many unnecessary accidents as it is, and they should be allowed to have sex in the home? That's just another accident waiting to happen. Aren’t there enough children born out of wedlock in this country already?
I maybe old fashioned, but the words of fickle human beings who think this is fine will fail any one taking them seriously. Remember the Woodstock free love hippies? Where are they now? Didn’t they all pack it in after a while? Teenagers should be taught to manage their sexual desires from early on. If not, we will have a world in chaos. Granted that it appears that by the human design's puberty time line we are all meant to get married and start having sex much earlier than our societies currently allow, but this isn’t the right way to solve that problem. Nothing good comes from two teenagers who probably won’t marry each other having sex. It only leads to emotional trauma and even sometimes physical trauma because two immature people are trying to play grown up without full understanding of the consequences.
The word of God always stands the test of time. Songs of Solomon 2:7 states, “Promise me, O women of Jerusalem, by the swift gazelles and the deer of the wild, not to awaken love until the time is right.” (NLT) In another translation, Song of Solomon 8:4 also states, “I charge you, O daughters of Jerusalem, that ye stir not up, nor awake my love, until he please.” Here the word of God is telling people not to engage in sexual activity till they are ready for the responsibilities and consequences.
Everything is permissible, but not everything is good. This means that you can pretty much do anything, but that doesn’t mean that it is good, beneficial or will result in a positive situation. Having teenagers engaging in sexual activity in their parents' homes without the attached feelings of guilt or shame may be permissible, but that doesn’t mean it is good.
A word is enough for the wise….
For more on the ABC story, visit http://abcnews.go.com/US/parents-teens-sex-family-home/story?id=13898548
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