Tuesday, January 3, 2012

The Case of Zoe Versus Goreski

Rachel & Brad - (In happier times)

Celebrity stylist, Rachel Zoe's assistant Brad Goreski who now has his own show and business was on the Wendy William's Show today. I'm not one to follow the latest fashion trends enough to know him or her too well, although I've seen her on TV as a celebrity stylist before, but what he shared about the "situation" or supposed feud between him and Rachel struck a cord in me, when he said it didn't seem like Rachel was happy that he left after he had served her for three years as an assistant and graciously gave her a whole two and a half month notice of his departure, so she could do what she had to do to prepare for life without him. View the video here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WM7IccOM_uQ

I don't know both of them, but from the outside looking in, based on what he shared and knowing how men and women generally think differently, it's the classic logical thinking man vs. emotional thinking female push/pull drama. He shared that he wasn’t invited to her baby show and when she had her baby, he even sent her a an Hermes baby tower with three toys as a gift, which wasn't returned and he didn't receive a thank you card for either, which was rude of her, I might add.

I guess Ms. Roy's upset that her former assistant grew wings and flew the coop, but that's the way it's supposed to be, isn't it? Just like he said, the main reason for working as an assistant is to learn the ropes of a business, gain experience, meet people and move on to establish your own. That's why he was an assistant and not a slave. Some media reports said Brad sat her and her husband down before he left and said he wants to be home with his boyfriend and away from the limelight and the next thing she knew, he was attending all the events right in the lime light and trying to steal her clients.

Granted, I can understand her perspective like many emotional women considering he is words and focusing on how his departure would destabilize their own business operations and how hard it would be work for her to find another assistant, especially a handsome gay guy who is definitely a girl's best friend especially in the creative world, but that's how such relationships go. It just comes with the territory. The same thing happened to my aunt who is a designer; she trained many people who later became her competitors in the market. What can I say? It’s a dog eat dog world.

It's because of things like this that many people don't want to intern, work for, or even assist women because they sometimes act illogically and overly emotional. In her emotional mind AKA her "perfect world" Brad would be her assistant eternally or till she's ready to let him go, which may only happen after decades of service, when he's old, all used up /washed up and with no prospects to start his own business.

However, in reality, maybe she could get away with that with an immigrant, a minority or other person from a disadvantaged group suffering from serious self doubt and inferiority complex, but definitely not with a fully functioning, hardworking, handsome, intelligent and articulate Caucasian male in the US of A with tons of opportunities to explore and with doors wide open to him just for asking.

Knowing this, I can only imagine what her thought process would be if she had gotten a person from a disadvantaged minority group, she would expect that person to there forever saying "Yessim, Ms. Rachel, I ain't goin' nowhere. Isa gonna stay right here by your side for ever."

The bottom line is that slavery has been abolished and Ms. Zoe and other women need to learn to deal with it. No one should think I'm hating on Rachel, it's just that I know that of which I speak, because I have been an assistant to both men and women at different times and it's often the same drama with women believing you will be in that one position forever, stunting your growth, being petty, holding on to negative feelings, having inadequate coping mechanisms with personal and business crises and lashing out at any and everybody available because they often can't compartmentalize their feelings like men can and often suffer from serious inferiority complex/the whole world is against me syndrome and subsequently overcompensate for all those things in their behaviors and reactions.

However, men are different, even if they are inadequate they don't view themselves as such, view negative occurrences as part of life and doing business, do what they can, let things roll of their backs and move on. I'm not saying that men are saints. There are a host of challenges one faces when working for them too and as a matter of fact, the quality of work they often deliver is often less than that of women, but they are often easier to work for and realize that when it's time for you to go, you will go, so they don't demonize you for it because they are logical thinkers who know that if they were in the same position they would do the same thing too.

Therefore, in the case of Zoe VS Goreski , case dismissed!

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