For me, it was true that the grass is always greener on the other side. As an African born introvert gifted with many creative talents, I always felt inferior because I felt writing has little power, prestige and financial reward because of the challenging lives many African creative types including writers live. So, I stayed away and chased after other careers I knew I wasn't designed for or was a good fit for. However, the bible states, "Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails," and God's purpose for my life is finally prevailing.
After many years of chasing after the prestigious and high paying careers, I had a forced "turn around" that came as unhappiness, depression, lack of career fulfillment and physical illness and I slowly but surely began to do what I knew I was designed for, so when I see other people like my previous self, chasing after wrong career paths for the wrong reasons, I am appalled and alarmed because I've been there and done that and know where such stories end. I recently saw such a scenario play out in front of me which I will share.
I was flabbergasted when I was told a younger friend of mine had joined the police force. I couldn't believe this sensitive, easy going, articulate, intelligent, analytical, introvert and voracious reader who had glorious dreams of working in the international sphere as a foreign service official had signed up to become a police officer.
Then again, I could believe it, when I know the reality of life for so many people, especially African immigrants is that when bills are piling up, any well-paying job will do. This was the case for this young man. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against the police force or policemen, but I know that not everyone especially not this particular guy is designed to become one.
Anyway, this guy who had had his glorious dreams of a foreign service career dashed after the completion of his undergraduate degree, had temporarily taken up work as a caretaker for disabled people while waiting to be called for interviews for the types of jobs he really wanted to do, especially a promising and cushy foreign service position. However, those jobs like I told him years ago, take years to process in the post 9/11 world, so the frustration of years of waiting for the foreign service to contact him to no avail is what led him to sign up for the police force under the encouragement and pressure of his loved ones, especially his wife who said she wants financial security and his mother whose statements implied that she wants a son she can boast about to her friends.
So, he put his nature and fears aside and joined the police force. After 11 weeks of training, during which he said he got in so much trouble with his superiors because his reflexes where not wired to respond fast enough to their liking, he couldn’t sleep at night, had high blood pressure, was very tense, couldn’t think straight, and he was very stressed. He also said that he was required to do so many fear inducing things that were against his nature nature and found himself overcompensating for his stress by going to vacation spots to de-stress each weekend.
After the 11 weeks of training, he was right back where he started with from, only this time with a very disappointed wife, father and mother to contend with after he dropped out. He said even though his going against his nature didn't make him quit, he finally came to the conclusion to quit because he didn’t want to be a father whose kids feared he wouldn’t return every day he went out to work. I was particularly suprised that his wife and mother weren't concerned for his safety. They were more concerned about themselves.
African parents especially like to dictate their children’s profession. Some would like to believe they are assisting, but many times, it crosses over to control. I was at an event where a young lady said she's in school to become a doctor, because her mom is a doctor and wants her to become one because of the financial security. A family friend I grew up with said her mother like other Nigerian parents filled out the University forms with her, that's why she went to law school. Her mother later told me that her other younger daughter became an engineer because she wouldn't let her become just a singer since that's not a stable enough career choice.
A world renowed Nigerian female government official advised her son who is a published budding writer to attend medical school to become a doctor to have a stable career as writing is unpredictable. Her logic is understandable and I’m sure she gave this advice out of love, but what about J.K. Rawlings, the author of Harry Potter? Would she be who she is today if she had listened to such advice?
The best solution would be to have a dual career. For some people, dual careers work out and for others, one has to give way for the other, especially when one gives immediate financial security, while the other is a “work in progress”. For many people, with only 24 hours in a day, living life and facing other challenges and obligations leaves them only enough time for one career, so the other career usually the non-financially rewarding, but fulfilling one is neglected, usually for a large chunk if not for the rest of the person’s life.
This is where the adage, time is money needs to be evaluated correctly. There are 24 hours in a day, which when lost can never be regained, so when you are a part- timer in a career field competing with full-timers, know that although that may be the only way you can do it, you are at a great disadvantage because each career requires much time commitment and the full timers who have more time to dedicate will be ahead of you.
Also, when you are in the wrong profession, you are occupying a place that belongs to someone else that was designed for it and would have excelled at it, while you are traumatizing yourself in it. So, know that money, financial security and prestige aren't everything, and do yourself and everyone else a favor by doing what you know deep down you were designed to do.
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