Saturday, December 31, 2011

Living A Life Without Regrets I


How’s your relationship with yourself? If you don’t have a positive relationship with yourself, you will find it hard to deal with the unexpected and live a life with out regrets.

As people, we mush personally be effective to create the positive changes we desire in our lives. We will encounter the unexpected, but we must still be prepared enough to weather the storm and come out on top. Today we will be receiving advice on living life without regret and using successful principles, from Chicken Soup for the Soul series author, Jack Canfield Jack Canfield. His latest book that he co-wrote with William Gladstone is titled, The Golden Motorcycle Gang.
You wrote the Chicken Soup for the Soul series which people are fascinated by. How do you live a life without regrets? The contents of the book helped even me. Living a life with no regret is about following your passions and having the courage to let go of what doesn’t work to move forward towards your goals. If life you must embrace your dreams, goals and aspirations. Often times you must leave what was working and encourage that which wants to be born.

If you were born in a home where you were told not to try this or that, or it was so unstable that stepping out of your comfort zone was a major issue and now as an adult you want to follow your passion and you want to let go, but its difficult, what are you supposed to do?

In Paulo Coelho’s blog, Devil Headed Tag, in which he talks about the devil having a sale where most items were cheaply priced. However, there were two things namely fear and self doubt with a price tag of $10,000 each and he asked him why those items were so expensive, and he replied, “With that I control the world.” As human beings we have fears that we aren’t good enough or competent because we lack confidence and self esteem. Self esteem is from being in a lovable environment and feeling capable to do what you desire. People from families fraught with anxiety and fear have to overcome the negative beliefs and programming installed in them as children.

No one is immune from this. My dad was an abusive alcoholic and my mother was an alcoholic, but I went to school, explored, took risks and saw that I survived, so I took more risks and was not afraid of failure. Although I’m an author, but not all of my books were successful. People must get up from where they are and make change happen in their lives by doing things like working with a coach, listening to motivational tapes, reading motivational books and getting an education in the field they are interested in.

You develop self confidence when you do something and survive. Then the next thing is less scary. When I spoke at my first event, I was scared. When I finished it, I realized that even though it may not have been the performance, but I had done it and survived. Soon I’ll be speaking at another event after Bill Cosby, I don’t know if I can measure up to him but I will speak. The more risks you take, the more confidence you develop. FEAR stands for False Experiences Appearing Real.

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Learn using your mind to create positive images through rehearsals and visualization. We are raised to be so vested in outcomes and if we perceive outcomes to be possibly detrimental, we are stooped. Stop doing that imagine the best not the worst. For example, champions when they are training expect to win. That’s what motivates them to train so hard and many times they win. Even if not a trophy they won against their doubting belief systems. National champions expect to win that’s why they win.

We have to expect to succeed and we will. Be willing to go out and do what you want to do. However, you must also realize that not everything we do will work or work out the way we want. There’s always risk in achieving success. You must doing something that’s never been done; you must risk being rejected if you apply for opportunities. So if not you want do anything, risk taking and rejections are part of the package.
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How do you create positive change when things appear doomed? You should visualize and believe in positive change and walk with positive people who can help and inspire you. Create a positive visual image isn’t only for visionaries, it’s for anyone who wants to get to a higher level than where they are now. Chicken Soup for the Soul has stories of people overcoming obstacles to live the life they always dreamed of or help create a positive impact in the world and many times these are one and the same.

What inspired the book, The Golden Motorcycle Gang? I was a teacher in the public school system for a while, and then I went to grad school to get a graduate degree. One of my teachers there said we should close our eyes and meditate to get us in touch with our original intention of becoming teachers. Others in the class were talking about how they were inspired by their teachers in school, however, I went back to before I was born, and floating through space, and the book stems from me and people like me, The Golden Motorcycle Gang is a metaphor similar to Hell’s Angels members that ride around on bikes and are somewhat arrogant, cocky, and have irreverent energy.

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I saw they were having problems in the world and we choose to be born to come and help. I’m meeting people who have similar stories and know they are here for a larger purpose. The members are part of it, and I was buying these little golden bikes from China and giving it them, so that’s how the name came about and out of that we began the Transformational Leadership The website is http://goldenmotorcyclegang.com/

We live in an equitable, loving compassionate world. It’s all about living with purpose. We all must be of the mindset of loving service, and ask ourselves the question, “What is the gift you want to give or contribute to the world?” My gift occurred to me when I got a job as a counselor to kids at a camp. I love being a teacher. I went to a University in Chicago and became and educator, then I went to Jesse Jackson Church and learnt about being at the bottom and stepping up.

The real fixers of this world are everyday people like Lauren Abramson who took kids who committed crimes and had them meet the victims in intervention circles where they facilitate reconciliation, healing and understanding among victims, offenders and their supporters. The website is www.communityconferencing.org After that many of them don’t want to participate in crime anymore. At The Golden Motorcycle Gang, www.goldenmotocyclegang.com we have resources there to help people discover their passions.


No age group too young to think about the contributions they can make to the society at large. For example, Ryan Hreljac, a young 6 year old boy in Canada whose teacher told him that in Africa some people have to walk long distances to get water. He began doing chores for it and spoke to everyone he could about it and it evolved into a non-profit foundation, The Ryan’s well foundation http://www.ryanswell.ca/ that has built many wells now. So, it’s all about one’s passion and inspiration to serve humanity.

If you come from improvised circumstances, like being born poor in rural America, or as in the case of Elizabeth Murray who was born in the Bronx, to poor, and drug-addicted parents, you still don’t have an excuse. She became homeless just after she turned 15, when her mother died of AIDS, and her father moved to a homeless shelter. Life turned around when she began attending the Humanities Preparatory Academy in Chelsea, Manhattan. Though she started high school later than most students, and remained without a stable home while supporting herself and her sister, Murray graduated in only two years.

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She was awarded a New York Times scholarship for needy students and was accepted into Harvard University, matriculating in the fall semester of 2000. She left Harvard in 2001 to care for her sick father and to start motivational speaking; she resumed her education at Columbia University to be closer to him. According to her book Breaking Night, her older sister, Lisa, graduated from Purchase College in New York State and is a school teacher for autistic children. In late 2006, her father died of AIDS. She eventually returned to Harvard in 2006 and graduated in June 2009. As of August 2009, she had begun taking graduate courses at Harvard Summer School and would like to earn a doctorate in clinical psychology to counsel people from all walks of life. She is the founder and director of Manifest Living, a company that provides a series of workshops that empower adults to create the extraordinary things in their lives.

At The Golden Motorcycle Gang, we have the Goals program where people are taught how to set goals and learn success principles. I recently taught a class in California, on learning skills and gaining success. Addicted people and people turn to crime because that’s all they are aware of and feel hopeless. If you don’t have the skills what do you do? People who feel hopeless and helpless, if they reach out through non profit organizations and churches, they’ll find help. There’s a lot of people want you to succeed but you have to reach out and find them.

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