Not that we didn't see it coming, but as you've already learned, the beautiful wedding between these two very beautiful people has ended after 72 days. I had never seen a prettier bride or a more beautiful wedding, but where are they now? Although no one likes to witness the demise of a marriage union, a real marriage is instituted by God. He is the author and finisher of it, so he, not lawyers, publicists, TV crews, make-up artists etc. must be brought into a relationship prior to the wedding. Obviously Kim and Kris left him out of their union.
Marriages ending are so prevalent in the US these days that this is an excellent opportunity to teach some home truths about why marriages are ending.
First let me say this, the US is a leading force in many areas and is known for being good at many things, but relationships including marriages are certainly not on that list. So here's a list of why many relationships in the US of today don't work.
1. Most people deep down in their minds nurse the reality that their marriage won't work and divorce is an option, therefore when something occurs that they don't like, they are out instead of hanging in there. It’s till DIVORCE not DEATH does them part!
2. Many people are selfish and self-serving. It's always all about them. They don't serve, they must be served. They don't like being inconvenienced by others. They usually end up with nurturing people who give and give, till they can give no more and leave.
3. Many people don't know how to be a wife or a husband because they haven't seen positive role models in their own families, thanks to the many broken homes around. They have a vague idea but have no idea of the hard work and sacrifice it takes.
4. People marry who they want to marry, not who God has ordained for them to marry. Having the mindset of marrying a beautiful, a light-skinned, a tall, a Harvard graduate, a lawyer, a doctor, a pilot, a rich person or whatever else will only end in misery and divorce. Many people in happy marriages I've met say they wouldn't have thought they'd end up with the kind of person they actually ended up and are happy with. Never marry a person because of their beauty. Beauty if just like a gift’s wrapping paper that you will tear off and throw in the trash. Their character and behaviors is the gift inside and is more important because that is what you will live with.
5. Many people are in love with “love,” not commitment, service or companionship. Love is not lust and it isn’t sex either. Many people don’t know the real definition of love. Which according to 1st Corinthians 13:4 - 8 is as follows: Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
6. They want to be a "Prince" or "Princess" for a day unaware that just like the multi-million dollar wedding that takes planners, and many vendors months, days and hours of hard work, relationships take hard work too and when the beautiful wedding dress and tuxedo come off, you have to live with the character and behavior of the person you married.
7. Many people marry for lust. Sex, no matter how great will never sustain a marriage long term. People can get sex anywhere. It can be instantaneous, but real love is rare and takes time to develop. You can get sex anywhere, friendship and companionship is what true love and a lasting marriage is about.
8. Many people don’t put any time or effort into what life after the marriage will look like. Do you want to live in the same state or country? Are you ok with your intended spouse’s career? Do both families like and accept you and vice versa? Are you the right fit in each other’s lives? If not, save yourself the wedding expenses and focus on that first.
9. Many people are not similar enough to be tolerant of each other’s cultures, upbringing, ways of doing things and thought processes. Sometimes, some people are too similar and life becomes so boring with nothing to look forward to. The best compatible people are similar in some ways and different in others. When some people are young they are more experimental and are open to trying new things. When they get older they only want what is familiar and comfortable. That’s why often people marry from other cultures and races when they are young, but when they get older, they want someone who is of a similar culture.
10. Many people marry for the wrong reasons such as to get a trophy spouse, a desirable country’s citizenship, to have children who look a certain way or have certain features. For example to have light skinned kids or kid’s with “good” hair.
This is not an exhaustive list, but it’s just a start for you to ponder. Ultimately, marrying the wrong partner is because people don’t put God first. Psalm 32:8 states, “The LORD says, "I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you.”
Put God first in your life, be obedient to his word and he will do the rest.
A word is enough for the wise…
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